I don't want to be normal

The other night, I was driving from my full time job to my part time job and feeling particularly cranky. It was Friday, it had been a long week, and all I wanted to do was go. home. Not go to work for 4 1/2 more hours and get home at 11pm.

I called my husband and said as much. "I just want to be NORMAL!" I whined. "Normal people get to go home on Friday night and watch a movie or go out for dinner. Normal people don't go to work when they get out of work."

Then I heard what I was actually saying (complaining about). The common figure floating around is that the average American household has around $8000 in debt. Assuming an interest rate of 18% and paying minimum payments calculated at 2% of the balance, it would take 40 years and 2 months to pay off that credit card. The total interest paid would be $20,219.05.

I can't think of anything that I would buy for 3x what it's worth. That's what carrying a balance makes you do. I know that there are some iced coffees and cheeseburgers in my credit card debt that I have now paid for at least 3 times. Thinking about it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Thinking about it gives me motivation to go to my part time job and sell things on eBay and reconsider everything I buy. I am doing my penance for my crime.

If this is normal, I don't want to be normal. I want to be better.